Friday, May 19, 2017

Day 80 - Who's To Blame

Yesterday the world lost an icon when Chris Cornell passed away. I heard about his death first as breaking news while I watched my local news network early in the morning. While I was not a fan of Soundgarden or Audioslave personally, I recognize him for the talent and leader of the grunge movement he was. As the day went on, there were interviews with people that knew him as well as fans all coming out to share their experiences and memories. Updates to the news rolled in periodically first announcing where and that it was ruled a suicide then finally details to fill the gaps.

This morning I woke up to see announcements of blame. Medication that had been prescribed for him had apparently turned into a threat instead of being an assistance. There are pictures and videos to demonstrate how much trouble he was having at the end and the blame on the medication to say he had no idea what he was doing when he hung himself. I am not here to say I have any idea what happened in the case of Chris Cornell but it seems like a relevant subject as I am covering the subject of PTSD in Sharing Strength. Suicide is a very real outcome for many suffering from the disorder.

The reason I wanted to mention it is because I have noticed a pattern whenever someone dies especially from suicide. We, those of the human race that do not feel the need to end our lives, cannot understand why someone would take such a drastic step. Yesterday it was Chris Cornell, before that we lost Robin Williams and there have been many others. We search for answers when many times there is no one to blame.

Depression, trauma, stress, medication, bullying, there are multiple reasons someone could feel the need to end things. For me it is not as shocking that the person gave in to that dark and desperate feeling but the desperation felt by those looking for a quick reason to accuse instead of accepting that we may never truly understand. The pain inside someone can simply be overwhelming. Sometimes there is a reason, other times it is all inside them. We cannot explain everything all the time. As the next few days unfold and the psychology of a man clearly in pain, whether internally or medically induced, is examined and analyzed over and over, it will be the psychology and desperation of those doing the analysis I will be watching. Partially for research but also as someone that considered ending things myself once. It makes me wonder what excuses people would have made for me.

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