Thursday, November 5, 2015

Too Ambitious?

I have always struggled to follow through on all of my plans but anyone that knows me well would probably say it because I am far too ambitious. I tend to notably bite off more than I can chew but also choke about halfway through. At some point I am forced to admit defeat or I get so overwhelmed by what it is I have taken on that I simply go blank. I realize I have no idea what I am doing or how to proceed and I retreat to the warmth and comfort of my office hiding from the world.

The largest example of this could easily be the book launch event I held last month. This one was different in one respect though, I finished what I started. I asked my mom if she thought my dad would be surprised. She said yes which I had expected but it wasn't that I had pulled it off or that it was successful but just the fact that I took on an event so large. That part did catch me off guard. I have always had tremendous sized dreams I just rarely was able to pull them off, if ever.

Now as Nanowrimo is underway I find myself working again on something that seems beyond my reach. I am planning to complete my newest nano novel Voices In My Head but also finish my romance novel Chocolate Covered Cherries as well as my PTSD drama Sharing Strength. All of the books are distinctly different but because of that I have to finish one before putting myself in the mindset of the others. It will be time consuming especially since I cannot seem to make the words flow recently.

Last year I felt that I was taking on too much trying to complete Nano while working two different jobs mostly as double shifts but I was able to finish Welcome to Syn anyway. In that case though I entered the month with a full story already prepared and it was just a matter of typing the words and filling in the details. This year I am working off a slight outline with a somewhat helpful main character but she hasn't been talking. Her silence is beginning to make writing this book like the proverbial pulling of teeth.

I am determined to continue the trend of finishing my projects and blowing my goals out of the water I just have to dedicate myself and push beyond my comfortable limits. Sometimes we need to take a vacation from our comfort zones.

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