Last week I shared Survivor, a book near and dear to my heart because it is based on my own true story. While there are a number of things I changed for personal or legal reasons, those who were around me during that time would be able to recognize the true events and emotions at the core of the book. Fish is a completely fictional work but there are feelings and situations from my life that were incorporated into this story as well.
Fish follows Rachel Morris, a high school sophomore with a very restrictive upbringing and parents who don't understand anything outside their narrow viewpoint. Because of circumstances beyond her control and her desire to help a friend in need, Rachel finds herself in a horrifying situation. She is then blamed, shamed, and guilted because of involvement she never intended to have. Her friends turn on her. The reaction of her parents is crippling. Rachel feels isolated and devastated with nowhere to go, no help to be found.
This book got to me as I was writing it because I did go through something similar to Rachel and I identified with that feeling of being alone so much it hurt. I ached for this young girl as I wrote her character and cried every time she had a setback. All she wanted was a friend and the ability to heal. I felt for her. I have felt like her. So many people end up in bad places when all they were trying to do was help someone they cared about.
That guilt, on top of the trauma from whatever the triggering event was, can lead to years of enduring issues. PTSD can be temporary or the trauma can be so severe it changes the chemical makeup of the brain leading to a lifelong struggle with events, people, even words that bring about those feelings all over again. Fish deals with a number of concerns including sexual assault, bullying, and guilt. I hope it means as much to you as it did and still does to me.
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