"Have you ever been in love?" She asked looking across the room at the irritatingly calm therapist.
"I believe I have, yes."
"I don't mean just saying I love you. I mean looking into the other person's eyes and see your own soul reflecting back at you. The kind of love that changes you and the way you see the world."
"Honestly I am not sure I have ever been in love like that no."
"I have." She said simply. There was no response. Like a well trained listener he sat there stoic, waiting for her to continue. Eventually she did. "I had a love like that but I screwed it up."
Dr. James scribbled something on his secret little notepad. Aaricka hated that leather-bound holder of judgement. People came here to pour their hearts and souls out only to have everything locked neatly away in that cowhide diary. He looked up at her when she didn't continue right away. "Is that what you would like to discuss? Your previous love?"
"When you lose someone like that you know you are never going to get them back. You will never find a love like that for a second time. Sure it is possible to find contentment. You will smile, be productive, one could even call you happy at times but deep in your heart you know that the one person your heart belonged to has come and gone forever."
"It can be difficult to move forward but it is a necessary part of life."
"But what happens when you are granted a second chance? When the powers that be look down on you and grant your heart's one true wish of finding that love again. When you meet someone that makes your heart ache with just one touch, the world disappears when they touch you. What do you do when that person shatters the ice you have built around your soul with just one simple kiss and then you step back and objectively look at the situation and it kills you to see that the fates have played a cruel trick on you because whether it is you or them one of you is taken and you cannot have the person that finally makes you feel complete again?"
"I know you are concerned because you have been trying to make things work with your ex. You have your son to consider Aaricka and you must choose if you are going to pursue things with his father or try to make things work with the man you met."He smiled. She stared daggers back. She already knew that she had to make a choice but obviously considering where she was it wasn't a choice she could make easily or completely on her own. "Think of the poet Robert Frost who said Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one less traveled by."
"No offense to Robert Frost but honestly that is the nest you can come up with? Besides which path is the one less traveled by? Is it the one that leads me back to a man I couldn't make it work with before but now we are trying again for the sake of a son I am not always sure he even wants? Do I stay with him because it is the known path and I can be prepared for what to expect? Should I stay because I have a family with him and my ex in-laws making it possible to rebuild something there? Or do I go the other way and take the man that makes this hollow shell I have become and makes me feel alive again? Should I jump into a relationship knowing it will tear my family apart and join with a man that may have to sacrifice his friends and family to make it work with me because they do not approve? And what of my son then? What if this new man isn't ready to be a father or my son hates him? Either way I have to watch the heart of someone I care about break in front of me and know I was the cause of the pain. So you tell me Dr. James which path should I follow into the woods?"
Now they were finally getting to the root of her frustration and touching upon what led her here in the first place. He smiled knowing that they would be making real strides soon. "I apologize Aaricka but it looks like our time is up."