Whether I am training for a physical challenge, trying to pay off debt, sticking to a diet for weight management, or reaching the next level with my writing one of my biggest issues is following the plan I create. I have recently been looking at my plans for this year and with it only being the end of week two I have found struggles in several areas for reaching my goals. It isn't that I have too many things to do. Some may think that but it is really just about time management. I am capable of accomplishing everything on my list of goals.
It isn't about feeling overwhelmed at the moment. That is why I took my tremendous list of goals and broke them down month by month so I could make it easier to complete. My biggest issue is willpower and the undeniable ability to sabotage myself when I am working to make things happen.
Take my physical challenges for a start. I am training to finish five different events this year. Three of them are obstacle courses, one is a twenty-five mile bike ride (this one I have completed more than once and I am just doing again for fun, not training), and the last one is a half marathon. I am not a runner nor do I possess much upper body strength. Because of that I decided to begin walking / running a collective fifteen miles per week and take two to three classes at the gym in order to improve both my strength and cardio. Last week I finished seventeen miles and two classes. This week I am done nothing. I am dealing with a sinus infection and have successfully turned that into no workouts at all.
As for my diet, I know myself. I cannot simply give up things I shouldn't eat all together. Instead I made a deal with myself that every week I am good during the week and complete the training part I can reward myself with a guilt free dessert or treat on Sundays. The fact that I just ate a pint of ice cream for breakfast is a glaring representation of how I am doing this week.
Working two jobs to pay off my debt isn't going much better. I took a second job to give me a paycheck I can fully dedicate to removing bills such as credit cards and be more comfortable financially. However, in a one two punch to my plan, I have spent more time sick and out from my first job because of it than I have working my second job. I also ended up using a good part of that money to make the holidays better and buying things my normal budget wouldn't have allowed for. So while I have made progress, it isn't nearly as far along as it should be.
Then we come to my writing. My passion. My reason for getting up and being excited about my day. I love to write and have completed the first draft of half a dozen full length novels but now as I need to buckle down and begin editing I find ways to distract myself at every turn. I have watched television shows I use as inspiration for a series I am working on. I have dabbled in my creative baking arts. I have had meeting upon meeting for the upcoming charity event. Now as I sit here with a printed copy of the book I desperately need to edit I find my brain unable to concentrate and I just want to lay in bed and read.
Yes I thrive under pressure but I have reached the point of pressure because I need to complete the edits, rewrite and rerelease by the end of next month so I am under the gun already. To add in the time I dedicate to my training, two jobs, and spending some quality time with family in order to maintain my sanity there are those that might argue I don't truly want to be a successful writer. This is not true. I am simply a master of self sabotage and it is a battle I continue to fight. Today I am struggling but tomorrow may be a victory. I will never give in or declare surrender, even to myself.
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