She knew she hadn't been the best person in the past. She had her selfish moments and there were things she would look back about and think wow I can't believe I did that. She would never think she had been deliberately cruel though there were many times that she had the option to change and she hadn't.
What she hadn't realized was that she had been so wrapped up in her own concerns that she drove away anyone that thought they may want to help her. She was broken, damaged but so far gone that she wasn't even aware of it. Then after her most recent relationship had fallen apart as they all did she relocated to get a true fresh start.
It was terrifying for her to be away from friends and family but she knew she had to find a way to stand on her own and get to know herself and learn to rely on herself in order to eventually find someone that could be a true partner in life and that would love the real her without her sabotaging it.
It was nearly a year before she met someone that struck her interest and true to form, she fell hard. He on the other hand was extremely distant. He would show interest but then pull back constantly. This simply fed her insecurities that she had worked so hard to overcome. Even with the struggle though she continued to fall and in time he became more open with her revealing that he had suffered relationship struggles in his past as well.
But later, years into the relationship, she still would tell him she loved him and try to show affection like cuddling up or holding hands but he was once again pulling away. She was lost, heartbroken and had no idea how to proceed. What was pulling him away and would he ever come back to her? She had worked so hard to create a life and a future and now she couldn't help but wonder what the future held and if she was even a part of his.