Yesterday I was working with my event planning partner at Starbucks. We were discussing several topics including plans for next year's charity event. We stressed over the one we put on last month but are excited to have a much greater amount of time and now experience moving forward for the next one. We talked about ways to improve upon our previous event as well as successes we would like to duplicate. As the day went on our conversation moved form what we had worked on to what was coming next for us as writers in general.
The topics of the next book, the next signing and the next project are almost always on my mind. The problem is that they are always on my mind at the same time. I struggle to focus on one thing or another and as happened today I will find myself staring off into space not accomplishing anything when I have so much work to do. I joking titled my self-diagnosed disease A.D.W.D. also know as Attention Deficit Writer Disorder. Authors have a spectacular ability to deal with the issues of this newly recognized disease and I feel I am practically the poster child for it.
In a regular day we will find ourselves jumping between trying to get our word count in while also making time for editing, creating cover art, updating social media to stay engaged with our readers, promoting our already or about to be published work, researching or discussing topics for current works in progress and of course trying to make time for our non-writing obligations as well. Pile on the fact that many authors either work on multiple books simultaneously or are at the very least distracted by the voices of characters from additional stories to the one in front go us and you have a recipe for an overworked and overwhelmed writer.
As all of these thoughts coursed through my mind I found my head spinning from all of the things I wanted to finish while also fighting off the insecure squeak of self-doubt doing its best to make me run and hide. It is not that I do not want to finish the projects I have started it is just that A.D.W.D. has invaded my brain and is wreaking havoc on my productivity. I shall not give in to this disease though. I am determined to fight it and make my stand by raising awareness and finding the path to overcoming this author specific disability.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Monday, March 6, 2017
Day 6 - Taking The Leap Of Faith
I like to think of myself as adventurous and an adrenaline junkie. I love rollercoasters, skydiving and speeding around the racetrack at the local NASCAR experience. Cliff diving has always been something I wanted to try and last year I checked hot air balloon ride off my bucket list. Things like that have never scared me though I do have to contend with concerns such as motion sickness. I would never have classified myself as conservative in any way but I do have to fight insecurities.
The most recent example of this problem is my website. I designed it over six months ago. It took a long time to create the concept and decide on the color scheme but once I had made the decisions I still managed to toy around with nuances constantly. I was convinced I still had work to do in order to make it what I truly wanted it to be. The site I designed seemed far too simple and I kept wanting to add things but when I would add items it looked too busy. I just wasn't happy with it.
I have tinkered with it for months and now all I have left is officially purchasing my domain name and and publishing my site to the public. I think that almost all authors I know feel the same way about their books, newsletters and websites. Even when we hire people to create art or sites for us there is a sense of wanting to fix and edit constantly. The one part I have to keep in mind is that I have the ability to edit, add and modify things on the site even after it is published.
The newsletters and the books are more of a one shot deal but the website I have been working to perfect for so long is not a fixed commodity. I can alter it any time I need. Launching the website will also be the beginning of my newsletter push. I set up a contact page on my site where people can reach me as well as sign up for my monthly newsletter which means it is time for me to stop procrastinating.
I will always want to change things. I will never be completely satisfied with anything I produce. Even when I publish a book with it being professionally edited, beautifully designed cover art and formatted by an experienced publisher I will still find details I wish I could modify. Things are never absolutely perfect but it is a matter of taking the chance and learning from things as they arise. With breath held and fingers crossed it is time to officially enter the world of websites, newsletters and move forward in my writing career.
The most recent example of this problem is my website. I designed it over six months ago. It took a long time to create the concept and decide on the color scheme but once I had made the decisions I still managed to toy around with nuances constantly. I was convinced I still had work to do in order to make it what I truly wanted it to be. The site I designed seemed far too simple and I kept wanting to add things but when I would add items it looked too busy. I just wasn't happy with it.
I have tinkered with it for months and now all I have left is officially purchasing my domain name and and publishing my site to the public. I think that almost all authors I know feel the same way about their books, newsletters and websites. Even when we hire people to create art or sites for us there is a sense of wanting to fix and edit constantly. The one part I have to keep in mind is that I have the ability to edit, add and modify things on the site even after it is published.
The newsletters and the books are more of a one shot deal but the website I have been working to perfect for so long is not a fixed commodity. I can alter it any time I need. Launching the website will also be the beginning of my newsletter push. I set up a contact page on my site where people can reach me as well as sign up for my monthly newsletter which means it is time for me to stop procrastinating.
I will always want to change things. I will never be completely satisfied with anything I produce. Even when I publish a book with it being professionally edited, beautifully designed cover art and formatted by an experienced publisher I will still find details I wish I could modify. Things are never absolutely perfect but it is a matter of taking the chance and learning from things as they arise. With breath held and fingers crossed it is time to officially enter the world of websites, newsletters and move forward in my writing career.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Day 5 - Making Up Time
In life there are many circumstances where our best laid plans fall apart. It could be illness, family obligations or even unexpected problems arising at work that pulls you away from your well designed plans but no matter the cause the end result is the same. We create a path to follow then a tree falls over and blocks it. The obstruction is when many people give up. It may not be permanent but when you come across that huge trunk blocking your way it is easy to throw your hands in the air, curl up in bed and feel sorry for yourself. On the other hand you can begin to climb over it.
The climb is difficult, especially if you temporarily gave up. It takes energy, willpower and determination to rise above and continue on. Not only that but you have been set back form the original schedule. This can be daunting if it was a deadline you were aiming for. It means not only do you have to get past whatever was getting in your way but also make up the time in the process. My being sick for the past week and heading into the most severe allergy time of the year will be hinderances I must face during my challenge. My determination is strong. My willpower is fleeting but hanging on at the moment. Now I just need the motivation to add the time I have already lost and make it up during the coming week.
The writing time will be fine. I have missed a few of the days I wanted to be able to write but I have time in my schedule both tomorrow and on Thursday of this week that I can dedicate a solid four or five hours to the task. Not only should I be able to catch up on time and work toward getting my current project well on its way but I will also be able to revise some of the scenes I have been working on for other books. I am excited about those and cannot wait to spend some quality time improving stories I love so much. The more painful part will be making up my workouts.
Today is day five and while I have managed to do things like wear my ankle weights to work or get in some good stretching, I have yet to get in more than one day of solid exercise. Day one I went to yoga but that was the last dedicated workout I have managed to do. Tomorrow I have an hour long softball practice so that will count and if I am able I will go swim or take a dance class with a friend which will make up one day. I have four days to make up though so I will be well conditioned once I get myself into the swing of things again.
In the past I was one of those people that believed the tree in my way was a sign from the universe that I was not supposed to complete my goals. Now I know it is just a test to see how much I want it. For the sake of my health and my happiness I am determined to finish both sides of this challenge and I am looking forward to standing at the finish line healthier, happier and far more productive than I have been up to this point.
The climb is difficult, especially if you temporarily gave up. It takes energy, willpower and determination to rise above and continue on. Not only that but you have been set back form the original schedule. This can be daunting if it was a deadline you were aiming for. It means not only do you have to get past whatever was getting in your way but also make up the time in the process. My being sick for the past week and heading into the most severe allergy time of the year will be hinderances I must face during my challenge. My determination is strong. My willpower is fleeting but hanging on at the moment. Now I just need the motivation to add the time I have already lost and make it up during the coming week.
The writing time will be fine. I have missed a few of the days I wanted to be able to write but I have time in my schedule both tomorrow and on Thursday of this week that I can dedicate a solid four or five hours to the task. Not only should I be able to catch up on time and work toward getting my current project well on its way but I will also be able to revise some of the scenes I have been working on for other books. I am excited about those and cannot wait to spend some quality time improving stories I love so much. The more painful part will be making up my workouts.
Today is day five and while I have managed to do things like wear my ankle weights to work or get in some good stretching, I have yet to get in more than one day of solid exercise. Day one I went to yoga but that was the last dedicated workout I have managed to do. Tomorrow I have an hour long softball practice so that will count and if I am able I will go swim or take a dance class with a friend which will make up one day. I have four days to make up though so I will be well conditioned once I get myself into the swing of things again.
In the past I was one of those people that believed the tree in my way was a sign from the universe that I was not supposed to complete my goals. Now I know it is just a test to see how much I want it. For the sake of my health and my happiness I am determined to finish both sides of this challenge and I am looking forward to standing at the finish line healthier, happier and far more productive than I have been up to this point.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Day 4 - Finding Inspiration In Unexpected Places
Today for the second time I found myself in a situation where my anxiety level was overwhelming yet I was able to find relief in writing. The first I have discussed in the past, Survivor. I fought with the symptoms of my PTSD for years having periodic breakdowns and even driving away my husband at the time because I was not prepared to face what had happened. I began writing a book, Sharing Strength, about people that deal with those same symptoms and ended up telling my story of the damaging relationship I went through as a teenager.
Survivor was hands down the most painful thing I have ever written. I talked with a therapist and had to be medicated while writing it because opening up about my past felt nearly impossible. Once I started however, the words began to flow. They flooded out of me in an endless stream until I was completely drained physically, emotionally and professionally. I suffered a massive breakdown upon initial completion but as time has gone on I have found my voice and begun speaking on the subject of my experiences. Writing helped me get through that and today I have found solace in the creative world once again.
Today was more of a physical fear. I am terrified of motorcycles and being on one or even in the vicinity normally requires a good amount of medication. Because of the sinus infection I have been fighting and the meds that go along with that battle I was unable to take my anti-anxiety pills tis morning. I had, however, agreed to go on a trip from my home in Las Vegas to a meeting in Yermo, California approximately two hours away. I badly wanted to renege on that plan but I am a person that keeps their word so I had no choice but to suck it up and find a way to get through it.
As the ride started I sat on the back seat of the bike and held on with shaking hands, praying that I made it without having a breakdown. After ten minutes or so of deep breathing and focusing so hard I was getting a headache I decided to try thinking about a scene in one of my books. I thought about advice an agent had given me and slowly began to rewrite the part he had suggested I change. In my head I completely revised the scene. I was so caught up that we pulled in to the first stop without me realizing we were still on the road. I spent the rest the trip losing myself in thoughts of my books and my author events I plan and attend.
I am thrilled with the way the revised scene turned out and have already rewritten it so I could see how it would look. I have a number of ideas for the next event I am going to be a part of in 2018. Monday I will be meeting with my event planning partner and I cannot wait to share the ideas that helped get me through the ride today. I know most people would not consider the two situations to be the same but for me they were equally terrifying. They were also equally conquered but my greatest passion, writing.
Survivor was hands down the most painful thing I have ever written. I talked with a therapist and had to be medicated while writing it because opening up about my past felt nearly impossible. Once I started however, the words began to flow. They flooded out of me in an endless stream until I was completely drained physically, emotionally and professionally. I suffered a massive breakdown upon initial completion but as time has gone on I have found my voice and begun speaking on the subject of my experiences. Writing helped me get through that and today I have found solace in the creative world once again.
Today was more of a physical fear. I am terrified of motorcycles and being on one or even in the vicinity normally requires a good amount of medication. Because of the sinus infection I have been fighting and the meds that go along with that battle I was unable to take my anti-anxiety pills tis morning. I had, however, agreed to go on a trip from my home in Las Vegas to a meeting in Yermo, California approximately two hours away. I badly wanted to renege on that plan but I am a person that keeps their word so I had no choice but to suck it up and find a way to get through it.
As the ride started I sat on the back seat of the bike and held on with shaking hands, praying that I made it without having a breakdown. After ten minutes or so of deep breathing and focusing so hard I was getting a headache I decided to try thinking about a scene in one of my books. I thought about advice an agent had given me and slowly began to rewrite the part he had suggested I change. In my head I completely revised the scene. I was so caught up that we pulled in to the first stop without me realizing we were still on the road. I spent the rest the trip losing myself in thoughts of my books and my author events I plan and attend.
I am thrilled with the way the revised scene turned out and have already rewritten it so I could see how it would look. I have a number of ideas for the next event I am going to be a part of in 2018. Monday I will be meeting with my event planning partner and I cannot wait to share the ideas that helped get me through the ride today. I know most people would not consider the two situations to be the same but for me they were equally terrifying. They were also equally conquered but my greatest passion, writing.
Friday, March 3, 2017
Day 3 - Making Room In The Schedule
Today despite the fact I am still sick I am heading back to my day job. I slept well for the first night in almost a week which I am hoping means I am finally starting to get better. But because I have been under the weather I managed to nap my way out of writing or exercising yesterday. It was not something I intended to do just as I didn't mean to sleep thirteen hours last night but it was what my body needed. Now I am determined to make up the time of writing and working out.
Exercise will come tonight after I get done with work. Usually I come home and chill out on the couch until it is time to go to bed but tonight, body willing, I will do the lite home exercises and stretching I had intended to do yesterday so that at least I do not fall any further behind. Instead of reading when I go to bed I will take my computer and write instead. I have a number of projects that can keep me occupied so that is not a concern.
When I initially designed this challenge I decided I would wake up extremely early (for me) around 6:45am. That would give me half an hour to get dressed, make a quick breakfast and get into the office to start my hour of writing. After that I would leave around 8:30 for the gym arriving by 9ish for a class to get me going before work. On the days I was off I would run errands and clean the house before starting any moe writing I wished to accomplish. It turns out that I am absolutely not a morning person.
I can manage to wake up in time to go to the classes most of the time but there is no way I can get my brain to cooperate that early. Instead I will need to modify my original plans in order to fit the writing time in. I have struggled with it for years but I am determined to make up that hour I missed yesterday and keep getting the hour in everyday. With any luck once I am able to squeeze out an hour everyday I will be able to make more time and complete additional projects to help move forward.
It may be that eventually I will be going an hour of writing and an hour of editing or promoting but right now the focus is on writing exclusively. Keeping a schedule isn't the most important thing. What is important is not letting go of the goals and staying determined enough to push through when things don't go according to plan.
Exercise will come tonight after I get done with work. Usually I come home and chill out on the couch until it is time to go to bed but tonight, body willing, I will do the lite home exercises and stretching I had intended to do yesterday so that at least I do not fall any further behind. Instead of reading when I go to bed I will take my computer and write instead. I have a number of projects that can keep me occupied so that is not a concern.
When I initially designed this challenge I decided I would wake up extremely early (for me) around 6:45am. That would give me half an hour to get dressed, make a quick breakfast and get into the office to start my hour of writing. After that I would leave around 8:30 for the gym arriving by 9ish for a class to get me going before work. On the days I was off I would run errands and clean the house before starting any moe writing I wished to accomplish. It turns out that I am absolutely not a morning person.
I can manage to wake up in time to go to the classes most of the time but there is no way I can get my brain to cooperate that early. Instead I will need to modify my original plans in order to fit the writing time in. I have struggled with it for years but I am determined to make up that hour I missed yesterday and keep getting the hour in everyday. With any luck once I am able to squeeze out an hour everyday I will be able to make more time and complete additional projects to help move forward.
It may be that eventually I will be going an hour of writing and an hour of editing or promoting but right now the focus is on writing exclusively. Keeping a schedule isn't the most important thing. What is important is not letting go of the goals and staying determined enough to push through when things don't go according to plan.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Day 2 - Willpower
For the past few days I have been fighting a sinus infection. I am not sure if it is anything more but that part is strong enough to put me down for the count. Between the headaches, sinus pressure and utter exhaustion I am shocked I have been able to do anything. However part of me doing the challenge I am currently trying is to stop making excuses and instead find a way to push through. Today is going to be a struggle.
I am doped up on medication right now so I am semi functional for things like sweeping the floor or washing the dishes but concentrating is taking a significant amount of energy. I am thinking that it will be home exercise today and the hour will be broken up into pieces such as three twenty-minute sessions. Writing might end up being that way as well. I know I want to write but sitting still and focusing is a battle to say the least.
One of the biggest concerns I have been having today however has nothing to do with exercise or writing and yet it has everything to do with them, nutrition. The ruth is that my struggle with food and my addiction to it as well has caused more problems for me than anything else I have had to deal with. Because I don't eat well I get sick and have to fight to get better. My body does not recover the way healthier eater's bodies do. I can't concentrate on working or working out and my sleep suffers as well. A good part of this ties back into the choices I make in my diet.
It is only day two in my no fast food, no pizza and no junk food challenge yet I am craving almost every single part of that. Having done similar challenges in the past I know it can take about a week to detox from the cravings. Some of them never go away. It isn't about not having the cravings though, it is about the willpower to fight them off when they arise. The same can be said for excuses.
Today I may not get as much writing done as I did yesterday. I might end up doing more over the course of a few hours since I am too tired to do much else. Not everyday will be the most productive, best workout or even easiest diet day ever. The point is to enjoy the days where things come easy and keep fighting on the days that they don't. I am not giving up, this is a challenge that I am hoping will become a lifestyle alteration. I am just still in the learning stages. Today will get done and I will learn from the struggle of today to help improve tomorrow.
I am doped up on medication right now so I am semi functional for things like sweeping the floor or washing the dishes but concentrating is taking a significant amount of energy. I am thinking that it will be home exercise today and the hour will be broken up into pieces such as three twenty-minute sessions. Writing might end up being that way as well. I know I want to write but sitting still and focusing is a battle to say the least.
One of the biggest concerns I have been having today however has nothing to do with exercise or writing and yet it has everything to do with them, nutrition. The ruth is that my struggle with food and my addiction to it as well has caused more problems for me than anything else I have had to deal with. Because I don't eat well I get sick and have to fight to get better. My body does not recover the way healthier eater's bodies do. I can't concentrate on working or working out and my sleep suffers as well. A good part of this ties back into the choices I make in my diet.
It is only day two in my no fast food, no pizza and no junk food challenge yet I am craving almost every single part of that. Having done similar challenges in the past I know it can take about a week to detox from the cravings. Some of them never go away. It isn't about not having the cravings though, it is about the willpower to fight them off when they arise. The same can be said for excuses.
Today I may not get as much writing done as I did yesterday. I might end up doing more over the course of a few hours since I am too tired to do much else. Not everyday will be the most productive, best workout or even easiest diet day ever. The point is to enjoy the days where things come easy and keep fighting on the days that they don't. I am not giving up, this is a challenge that I am hoping will become a lifestyle alteration. I am just still in the learning stages. Today will get done and I will learn from the struggle of today to help improve tomorrow.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Day 1 - Starting Strong
Today is the first day of my 40 Day (46 days long) Challenge. So far I have successfully done my hour of exercise, which was far more of a challenge since I am also fighting a terrible cold / sinus infection. I have managed to keep to my diet. Of course when you aren't very hungry that part is slightly easier. Now I am sitting down for my daily blog post as well as my dedicated hour of writing. Like many people I know, I wanted to say screw it and start tomorrow since I am feeling so icky. I am the queen of procrastination. But there is a fire inside me right now that I think could burn bright and show me a new path if I just keep feeding the flames.
I have two books published that I take to my current shows. I had four but my two charity books are being revamped and so they are not available at the moment. The two I have I enjoy talking about but after the writer's conference I attended in January I can see several issues that need to be addressed and things I can do to improve my next group of books. There are so many things to consider. I want to make sure I have the right cover art, the editing must be spot on and now that I know what there proper word count average should be I know that everything I have written needs to be extended.
The biggest question hanging over my head at the moment however is traditional or self-publishing. There are pros and cons to both and while I think in the end I will ultimately decide to stay Indie (self-published) for the majority of my books, I have always dreamt of being published through a traditional publisher. I would like the credibility as well as the ego boost just once of saying that one of the big five publishers was the one to produce my book. I love the phrase "I have an agent". These are things that no matter how much I do in the Indie world I have never been able to shake as something I want.
So for today, the first day of my challenge and hopefully beginning of a life-long habit, I am focusing on a book that was originally discussed with an agent at the conference. I am also looking at the other books I have drafted to make a game plan for revising and editing them so that no matter which path I choose moving forward I can have more books ready to publish.
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