Love And Passion

Before I even begin, no I am not writing a romance. There are romantic scenes in some of my books and human interaction is a huge part of the backstory of many of my characters but I have never centered a book around the idea of love and romance. I was, however, having a conversation today about passion, romance, and love. We were discussing the difference between perceptions of love and it got me thinking.

There is a huge difference between lying in bed with someone, saying "Oh my God, I love you baby!" as they bury themselves deep inside you sexually and lying in bed say "Oh my God, I love you baby!" while they wrap you in their arms. The first you can almost hear the moan. It might be passionate, it could be between two people deeply in love, it could also be between two people that met while drunk at a dance club and are caught up in the moment after they rushed to the closest hotel room and shed their clothes. The second feels more like a couple that has been together for awhile. Perhaps something happened and they came together to find a solution to a problem, maybe they just took a big step and got engaged or married. Either way it is touching, intimate, and in no way requires sex to make the feeling understood.

The conversation about the difference got me thinking about things I have read recently. A good author can "Show, not tell" when it comes to a characters emotions. They use the actions to explain the feelings, such as dancing back and forth from one foot to another to demonstrate a character is anxious. Eyes may dart around a room as a light sweat breaks out across a brow to indicate nerves or fear. There are many ways to use this technique. Things can also be left unsaid, which makes the actions that much more important. 

It is an area I have struggled with in the past. I am aware of the problem so I am using editing / rewriting techniques a wonderful agent I met taught me several months ago. I also try to hold on when I notice situations like this in real life, seeing those differences, and keep the feelings fresh in my heart and head until I can sit down to properly describe them. I am making my own notebook of emotions so I can remember what I did, said and thought when those feelings flooded over me. It is a work in progress but that conversation about love and passion certainly was eye opening.