Today is the Summer Solstice, aka first day of summer. I live in the burning dry heat sauna that is Las Vegas so we have been experiencing the weather of summer for weeks already but I am looking at the first day as more symbolic. I have been struggling with stress and depression for the past week and a half or so. Between medical problems, missing my dad as I near the ten year mark since he passed away, and of course writing realizations, I have been moping. I hate that I get to that point but it just hasn't been something I could power through.
This morning I woke up after having dreamt about my dad. I am still sad but spending that time with him, even just in my mind, brought a tiny semblance of peace. The medical concerns I am working to overcome and have a plan now to move forward. As for writing, I cannot change the past so being angry with myself about things I failed to do is not going to help. Instead I need to just look to the future and try not to let those same issues come up again.
I am writing two books simultaneously, Fish, and Last Piece. They are completely different genres but both are flowing well. I also have about half a dozen other books that have already been written and just need to be edited and rewritten. It is a battle even I can barely understand to edit and rewrite once I finish the first draft of a book. I am going to finish Last Piece, and Fish, before I move on to editing but I am determined to get at least half of the previously completed drafts ready for cover and editing before the end of the year.
I have been struggling because I felt stagnant. As it turns out, I was feeling that way because I wasn't taking any of my books and doing anything with them. The process of editing, rewriting, editing again, designing a cover, formatting, publishing (or sending queries and submitting) then of course marketing the book can be extremely overwhelming. The alternative for a writer is to just draft and never get the satisfaction of sharing your work. The feeling of seeing both of my books go live on Amazon, then the moment of holding the paperback copies in my hands have been some of the most exciting in my life. I always call my manager (my mom) and share those moments with her.
I am taking this symbolic first day and the first day of a season I will accomplish my writing to do list and get back to that feeling of being a happy writer moving forward. I will finish both Fish, and Last Piece, then I will edit and start the next phases of at least three of my other projects while getting ready for Nanowrimo. I am excited to feel productive again.