Taking a departure from the usual dark and dramatic emotional topics I generally write about, I wanted to touch base on another subject I have been working on. I love my novel writing and while I am very proud of the work I have put out I am excited to expand my horizons.
I have always enjoyed reading a series, eagerly getting my hands on the following book as soon as I finished the last one. However I have never had the ability or even desire to create one of my own, until now. I am working on an idea for an adult series following the 7 deadly sins but that is not the series I am most excited about.
I am writing a children's series. It is part entertainment and part education but for me is completely fun. It also highlights fathers in a new way. There are so many mommy and me books and I am fortunate enough to know several fathers that are always there for their kids so I wrote a quick book for one of them and his daughter.
She loved it so much he thanked me publicly prompting another friend to request one for his boys. I of course obliged seeing as how they are my friends. It went over amazingly well with his sons and the idea snowballed. I have since created nearly thirty books in the series with many more to come and I am about to enter into the process hopefully of getting them published. The series idea has also been nominated for an award that would mean the world to me.
Even though I do not have children I know the importance of getting them interested in reading as well as learning and if I am able to create something to help future generations appreciate the field I love so much then it is completely worth it. I will share a small excerpt once I have found my publisher but I hope that any of my friends with or without children would enjoy the series.
Reaching beyond my comfort zone and stepping into an entirely new world has been a blast so far and I cannot wait until the day I have enough confidence to reach so far beyond my current realm that I can create an entire world of my very own.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Writing what I know
Yesterday I wrote the overview of how one of my characters, Rachel, was a rape victim and then bullied literally to death. She committed suicide because she couldn't handle having no support to get through what was one of the most painful and humiliating experiences of her young life. It took me more than an hour to write the post from last night because I cried the entire time.
Rachel is, in part, based on me. She suffered at the hands of someone she thought was a nice guy that took advantage of her and her naiveté. She was ashamed and afraid, then when she tried to defend herself from the backstabbing lies no one believed her.
I went to the police. I told my parents and my boyfriend but the charges ended up being dropped so he was never held accountable for what he did to me. I am still alive but I had the support I needed, especially after he was let go.
Every word I wrote brought back my own memories. It still hurts a decade later and when I wrote the part where she died I almost couldn't get the words out. She lives in me every day and I am killing a part of myself when she dies but for me it is killing the part of me that blamed myself for what happened.
Yes I am a victim but I am also a survivor. I made it through and while it has taken me years to have the strength to share what happened to me, at least in part, I hope that it may help someone else to know they are not alone.
After Rachel dies there is a scene in the book where Jasmine and Kyle sit at a park talking and she reveals that she thought about killing herself as well but couldn't go through with it. Rachel's death becomes one of the driving forces for Jasmine and destroying that shamed and painful part of me I am hoping will become a stepping stone to finally moving past the frustrations of my past.
Rachel is, in part, based on me. She suffered at the hands of someone she thought was a nice guy that took advantage of her and her naiveté. She was ashamed and afraid, then when she tried to defend herself from the backstabbing lies no one believed her.
I went to the police. I told my parents and my boyfriend but the charges ended up being dropped so he was never held accountable for what he did to me. I am still alive but I had the support I needed, especially after he was let go.
Every word I wrote brought back my own memories. It still hurts a decade later and when I wrote the part where she died I almost couldn't get the words out. She lives in me every day and I am killing a part of myself when she dies but for me it is killing the part of me that blamed myself for what happened.
Yes I am a victim but I am also a survivor. I made it through and while it has taken me years to have the strength to share what happened to me, at least in part, I hope that it may help someone else to know they are not alone.
After Rachel dies there is a scene in the book where Jasmine and Kyle sit at a park talking and she reveals that she thought about killing herself as well but couldn't go through with it. Rachel's death becomes one of the driving forces for Jasmine and destroying that shamed and painful part of me I am hoping will become a stepping stone to finally moving past the frustrations of my past.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Bullying Rachel
I have written about my character Rachel before. She is from one of my current works in progress called Sharing Strength. In the book there are several characters that are all part of a support group for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Rachel is the youngest at only seventeen years old. It is assumed that she will be able to overcome her stress and move on to a happier life.
Rachel was a high school student, a state ranked swimmer and a rape victim. She attended a party thrown by the boyfriend of her best friend and teammate. Most of the people at the party were drinking and some were experimenting with drugs but being the avid athlete and good girl she was raised to be, Rachel abstained.
She was asked by a boy if she could give him a ride home since he was drinking. He seemed to be friends with the one throwing the party so she figured he was probably a nice guy and she didn't want to say no causing him to try driving in his inebriated state. She agreed and got him back to his place but he was having trouble walking. So offered to help him get inside but once away from potential witnesses he showed his true colors.
He actually was barely buzzed, certainly not drunk and he over powered her. He pinned her down and raped her on the bedroom floor in the eerie and unforgettable light from his fish tank. She stared at it, crying out for help but there was no one home to come to her rescue. He kept telling her she wanted it and that was why she had driven him home. Deep down she wanted him and this is what she had been asking for all night.
He finally let her go and she ran. She wanted to run back to her friends and explain what happened but she was ashamed. She drove home intent on telling her parents but when she got there she sat in the driveway bawling unable to even get herself out of the car. When she finally managed to go in the house she snuck into her room and stripped off her clothes throwing them away. She took a shower not even thinking it would wash away evidence. She lay down and cried herself to sleep.
The next morning she slept in and when she emerged from her room she found her mother waiting in the hallway furious with her. The boy that had raped her had called his friend, her best friend's boyfriend, and told him all about it. He claimed she seduced him. Then, just to ass insult to injury, he told him all the reasons why she wasn't even good in bed.
He told his girlfriend and by the time Rachel was awake everyone from the party knew about it. Her mother screamed at her that she had been raised better than that. She said they were a God fearing family and they would not be disgraced by having her out whoring herself to anyone she damn well pleased. Rachel tried to plead her case saying that she was raped but her family would have none of it.
She hid the rest of the weekend and when she returned to school on Monday she hoped things had blown over, they had not. She was bombarded with insults. Called slut and whore the relentless torture was so intense that she left school at lunch and went to the local pool for the rest of the day. She swam laps for hours wishing to clear her mind.
She eventually calmed a little but when she was climbing out of the pool one of the staff members greeted her by the nickname she had acquired back in junior high, fish. She burst into tears, running for the locker room. She slipped on the wet deck going hard to her knees and that made everyone there laugh. No one came to see if she was ok. No one wanted to help her at all.
She drudged through nearly two weeks of torment without break before she found the ad placed by Dr. June. She called and got the information about the group and did her best to explain that her parents wouldn't pay for therapy so this was her only option. She did attend meetings seeking anyone that would help her, support her, care for her. She found a friend and protector in Jasmine but even that could block out the constant sorrow heaped upon her outside the walls of the meetings.
She lasted only a month attending just three meetings before it got to be too much. Her religious family blamed her. Her so called friends antagonized her. Even her team laughed when she cried at being called fish. She couldn't escape the flashbacks and nightmares. She ate to hide her heartache gaining weight and having to give up swimming.
Rachel committed suicide because she was bullied to death. She wanted to belong. She wanted to get help but one hour per week with a supportive group of strangers wasn't enough. She was lost and alone and in the end she felt it was her only means of triumph from those that pushed her over the edge.
Rachel was a high school student, a state ranked swimmer and a rape victim. She attended a party thrown by the boyfriend of her best friend and teammate. Most of the people at the party were drinking and some were experimenting with drugs but being the avid athlete and good girl she was raised to be, Rachel abstained.
She was asked by a boy if she could give him a ride home since he was drinking. He seemed to be friends with the one throwing the party so she figured he was probably a nice guy and she didn't want to say no causing him to try driving in his inebriated state. She agreed and got him back to his place but he was having trouble walking. So offered to help him get inside but once away from potential witnesses he showed his true colors.
He actually was barely buzzed, certainly not drunk and he over powered her. He pinned her down and raped her on the bedroom floor in the eerie and unforgettable light from his fish tank. She stared at it, crying out for help but there was no one home to come to her rescue. He kept telling her she wanted it and that was why she had driven him home. Deep down she wanted him and this is what she had been asking for all night.
He finally let her go and she ran. She wanted to run back to her friends and explain what happened but she was ashamed. She drove home intent on telling her parents but when she got there she sat in the driveway bawling unable to even get herself out of the car. When she finally managed to go in the house she snuck into her room and stripped off her clothes throwing them away. She took a shower not even thinking it would wash away evidence. She lay down and cried herself to sleep.
The next morning she slept in and when she emerged from her room she found her mother waiting in the hallway furious with her. The boy that had raped her had called his friend, her best friend's boyfriend, and told him all about it. He claimed she seduced him. Then, just to ass insult to injury, he told him all the reasons why she wasn't even good in bed.
He told his girlfriend and by the time Rachel was awake everyone from the party knew about it. Her mother screamed at her that she had been raised better than that. She said they were a God fearing family and they would not be disgraced by having her out whoring herself to anyone she damn well pleased. Rachel tried to plead her case saying that she was raped but her family would have none of it.
She hid the rest of the weekend and when she returned to school on Monday she hoped things had blown over, they had not. She was bombarded with insults. Called slut and whore the relentless torture was so intense that she left school at lunch and went to the local pool for the rest of the day. She swam laps for hours wishing to clear her mind.
She eventually calmed a little but when she was climbing out of the pool one of the staff members greeted her by the nickname she had acquired back in junior high, fish. She burst into tears, running for the locker room. She slipped on the wet deck going hard to her knees and that made everyone there laugh. No one came to see if she was ok. No one wanted to help her at all.
She drudged through nearly two weeks of torment without break before she found the ad placed by Dr. June. She called and got the information about the group and did her best to explain that her parents wouldn't pay for therapy so this was her only option. She did attend meetings seeking anyone that would help her, support her, care for her. She found a friend and protector in Jasmine but even that could block out the constant sorrow heaped upon her outside the walls of the meetings.
She lasted only a month attending just three meetings before it got to be too much. Her religious family blamed her. Her so called friends antagonized her. Even her team laughed when she cried at being called fish. She couldn't escape the flashbacks and nightmares. She ate to hide her heartache gaining weight and having to give up swimming.
Rachel committed suicide because she was bullied to death. She wanted to belong. She wanted to get help but one hour per week with a supportive group of strangers wasn't enough. She was lost and alone and in the end she felt it was her only means of triumph from those that pushed her over the edge.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Dark Emotions
Many people see things and are inspired. I have known artists that can hear a piece of music and create a painting that will take your breath away. I have also know musicians that can channel the emotions of a piece of art. I once heard a man describe sipping a wonderful wine as creating a beautiful song on his tongue. I too as a writer am inspired by many things I see around me.
I work in a casino and am exposed to people and their stories everyday and that lends itself constantly to new ideas. I have always taken parts of my life and used them for inspiration as well. It is here that many would question me. In Never Give Up I wrote about the despair of losing your dreams and feeling lost to the point of alienation those that love you. I am working on a very serious book about a support group for people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I put my heart and soul into the pieces I write and tend to take on difficult and dark subjects. I have been working to be a part of anthologies partially to get my name out there as a writer but also as a way to branch out and write things that aren't exactly in my wheelhouse. I recently looked at the monthly theme for one of them and no big surprise the theme for July is freedom.
Many would have seen that and immediately thought of our freedom as a country and possibly from that created a story or poem about the military but for some reason the first thing that came to mind was a young girl trapped in a dungeon fighting for her life. I couldn't shake the image of her sitting there in the dark. I fought it but she kept creeping back into my mind.
Finally I stopped hiding from her and gave her a voice. I learned that she was kidnapped and is part of a human trafficking ring. My heart aches for her and the subject is dark but there is something about her that makes me have to know her story. I know it is dark and a subject few would want to take on. I am not sure I want to but any writer can attest to the fact that sometimes you have a character that won't let go of you.
Akaylia in Never Give Up, Kelsey in Breathe, Jasmine, Rachel, Brian, James, Craig and Kyle in Sharing Strength and now Annora in an untitled story of her life. I also have a series I will be working on soon involving sister and I can hear them rumbling in the back of my mind clamoring for attention.
I am working hard to finish up Kelsey's story and working with the gang in Sharing Strength to get their story told as well but my heart goes out to Annora and while I anticipated taking on the series next or the follow up to Never Give Up or even my twist on Jack the Ripper it looks like she will be my next book.
I work in a casino and am exposed to people and their stories everyday and that lends itself constantly to new ideas. I have always taken parts of my life and used them for inspiration as well. It is here that many would question me. In Never Give Up I wrote about the despair of losing your dreams and feeling lost to the point of alienation those that love you. I am working on a very serious book about a support group for people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I put my heart and soul into the pieces I write and tend to take on difficult and dark subjects. I have been working to be a part of anthologies partially to get my name out there as a writer but also as a way to branch out and write things that aren't exactly in my wheelhouse. I recently looked at the monthly theme for one of them and no big surprise the theme for July is freedom.
Many would have seen that and immediately thought of our freedom as a country and possibly from that created a story or poem about the military but for some reason the first thing that came to mind was a young girl trapped in a dungeon fighting for her life. I couldn't shake the image of her sitting there in the dark. I fought it but she kept creeping back into my mind.
Finally I stopped hiding from her and gave her a voice. I learned that she was kidnapped and is part of a human trafficking ring. My heart aches for her and the subject is dark but there is something about her that makes me have to know her story. I know it is dark and a subject few would want to take on. I am not sure I want to but any writer can attest to the fact that sometimes you have a character that won't let go of you.
Akaylia in Never Give Up, Kelsey in Breathe, Jasmine, Rachel, Brian, James, Craig and Kyle in Sharing Strength and now Annora in an untitled story of her life. I also have a series I will be working on soon involving sister and I can hear them rumbling in the back of my mind clamoring for attention.
I am working hard to finish up Kelsey's story and working with the gang in Sharing Strength to get their story told as well but my heart goes out to Annora and while I anticipated taking on the series next or the follow up to Never Give Up or even my twist on Jack the Ripper it looks like she will be my next book.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Growing
One of the most important things about becoming a successful writer or any kind of artist is to get your name and your work out there. There are several ways of course to do this such as being a leading expert in the field you are writing, being a celebrity always comes with a large following and having a tie to a trending topic. Then there are those we all strive to be, the ones that create a world and characters that capture the hearts and imaginations of millions across the world.
I will openly admit that I am not a celebrity or leading expert in the world of dance and I missed the huge trend when Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance were at the peak of their popularity. I do not have any of professional dancers endorsing me and the city of Chicago has not publicly gotten behind me or my books. I am relatively unknown at this point so I am reaching out and doing any signings or shows I can get into.
I am asking my friends to spread the word by posting reviews of my book on Amazon and Goodreads any chance they get as well as simply telling people about my book. I have done the social media thing though being that my novel is not a trending and popular genre I am struggling in that arena. So I am now reaching out to any readers here as well, please comment and let me know any ways you hear about and become in new books? What can I do to grow my readership and get my name to reach beyond the current readership of friends and family I have created?
I am fairly confident I will be able to get my name out further with later books but this one is just as important to me as any future projects. I have possible endorsement for Sharing Strength and Rescue Me is partnering with a wonderful charity and I am working on a Children's series that is currently nominated for a fantastic award. I do not want to sit back and say oh well the next one can be the one to get my name out, I am looking to do the leg work on an unknown piece so that future books and series have a leg up and can enjoy a greater readership.
I have lofty goals including certain sales numbers for this debut novel and hopefully winning the award for my kid's books. I am determined to make the New York Times Bestseller list someday and to be considered successful in the field. I want to be able to write full time and focus on meeting my readers and finding my inspiration in the lives of myself and those around me as I always have. I deeply desire to grow as an artist and create realms beyond my current limits.
The most important thing I have learned in life is that whether it is solving a problem or improving a life situation or in my case growing both personally and professionally it takes more than just yourself to do it. It is such a cliché but it really does take a village in order to move ahead. I look forward to hearing ideas and hopefully creating a discussion about ways to reach more wonderful readers like yourselves.
I will openly admit that I am not a celebrity or leading expert in the world of dance and I missed the huge trend when Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance were at the peak of their popularity. I do not have any of professional dancers endorsing me and the city of Chicago has not publicly gotten behind me or my books. I am relatively unknown at this point so I am reaching out and doing any signings or shows I can get into.
I am asking my friends to spread the word by posting reviews of my book on Amazon and Goodreads any chance they get as well as simply telling people about my book. I have done the social media thing though being that my novel is not a trending and popular genre I am struggling in that arena. So I am now reaching out to any readers here as well, please comment and let me know any ways you hear about and become in new books? What can I do to grow my readership and get my name to reach beyond the current readership of friends and family I have created?
I am fairly confident I will be able to get my name out further with later books but this one is just as important to me as any future projects. I have possible endorsement for Sharing Strength and Rescue Me is partnering with a wonderful charity and I am working on a Children's series that is currently nominated for a fantastic award. I do not want to sit back and say oh well the next one can be the one to get my name out, I am looking to do the leg work on an unknown piece so that future books and series have a leg up and can enjoy a greater readership.
I have lofty goals including certain sales numbers for this debut novel and hopefully winning the award for my kid's books. I am determined to make the New York Times Bestseller list someday and to be considered successful in the field. I want to be able to write full time and focus on meeting my readers and finding my inspiration in the lives of myself and those around me as I always have. I deeply desire to grow as an artist and create realms beyond my current limits.
The most important thing I have learned in life is that whether it is solving a problem or improving a life situation or in my case growing both personally and professionally it takes more than just yourself to do it. It is such a cliché but it really does take a village in order to move ahead. I look forward to hearing ideas and hopefully creating a discussion about ways to reach more wonderful readers like yourselves.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Changing Paths
When I came back to the world of writing I thought I was ready for all aspects that came with the pursuit of publishing. I would simply write the first draft, and then reread it for errors. Next I would send it off to a few agents with an awesome query letter I wrote and then I would simply wait for the acceptance letter that would be followed by a contract from a publisher.
I read through the draft and fixed a few spots I saw that needed polishing up. Once I was satisfied I sent it off to a beta reader who enjoyed the story though it needs to be stated that she was aware of the majority of the plot points going in. Once she said she liked it and gave me a few more spots to work on I created the query letter I knew would sell the book and started sending it off.
I sent more than thirty initial letters and sample chapters to various agencies and within a few weeks I started getting responses. Many were form letters while some were more personal but all of them had one thing in common, the word no. No one wanted me or my book. I read the query letter again and was ready to send off a more detailed synopsis if I got the request but while I was waiting I sent off more query letters but they either went unanswered or garnered the same form letter rejection as the first batch.
I started looking at self-publishing as well as indie publishers and ended up going with Pure Ice Publishing. After seeing the editing and the suggestions made as well as the synopsis and hooks created by the publishing team I realized just how far off my original attempts were. I have worked on it and am definitely improving my skills.
I am still learning how to do the sales part and have set a goal for myself for this debut novel but I have significantly higher hopes going forward. I am currently working to get an agent and traditional publisher for my second novel titled Breathe. A contemporary adult romance I am hoping that I have improved my query and synopsis writing as well as the novel skills in order to travel the traditional route this time.
I have enjoyed my time with Pure Ice and I am partnering with the Very Inspirational Kate Marie Robbins for my charity book Rescue Me. I am beyond excited about that project but I hope that she and everyone else will wish me well in my endeavor for a traditional house for my next project.
I read through the draft and fixed a few spots I saw that needed polishing up. Once I was satisfied I sent it off to a beta reader who enjoyed the story though it needs to be stated that she was aware of the majority of the plot points going in. Once she said she liked it and gave me a few more spots to work on I created the query letter I knew would sell the book and started sending it off.
I sent more than thirty initial letters and sample chapters to various agencies and within a few weeks I started getting responses. Many were form letters while some were more personal but all of them had one thing in common, the word no. No one wanted me or my book. I read the query letter again and was ready to send off a more detailed synopsis if I got the request but while I was waiting I sent off more query letters but they either went unanswered or garnered the same form letter rejection as the first batch.
I started looking at self-publishing as well as indie publishers and ended up going with Pure Ice Publishing. After seeing the editing and the suggestions made as well as the synopsis and hooks created by the publishing team I realized just how far off my original attempts were. I have worked on it and am definitely improving my skills.
I am still learning how to do the sales part and have set a goal for myself for this debut novel but I have significantly higher hopes going forward. I am currently working to get an agent and traditional publisher for my second novel titled Breathe. A contemporary adult romance I am hoping that I have improved my query and synopsis writing as well as the novel skills in order to travel the traditional route this time.
I have enjoyed my time with Pure Ice and I am partnering with the Very Inspirational Kate Marie Robbins for my charity book Rescue Me. I am beyond excited about that project but I hope that she and everyone else will wish me well in my endeavor for a traditional house for my next project.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Breathe Excerpt
Breathe. Kelsey closed her eyes and let the hot water drizzle
over her. The shower heating up she felt the steam engulf her and transport her
to an isolated world. Even as her skin began to redden from the heat she
blindly reached for the nozzle to turn the temperature up. It didn’t matter how
high it was, she couldn’t feel it anyway. She was in shock. It had been an
incomprehensible day and as the steam built up past her numb wet body billowing
over the top of the shower doors, she inhaled deeply and reminded herself
again; breathe.
The tiny
bathroom filled with thick moist clouds causing the glaring fluorescent to fade
to an uneven haze. Kelsey leaned back allowing the scalding water to wash
across her face, stinging her eyes, but still she felt nothing. Behind her
unopened eyelids she began to see. The faces floated up coming into focus,
staring at her. Faces she knew. Faces she would never forget. The fear, pain
and disbelief mirrored there contorted them into horribly disfigured creatures
watching her. Her eyes shot open and looked forward at the shiny tiled of the
wall in front of her. She looked at it, through it, unseeing. The wall wasn’t
there, all she could see were the faces.
Her hands
shaking she clutched the washcloth and scrubbed at her raw, pink skin. Rivers
of soapy bubbles coursed their way down, tracing the curves and contours of her
body mixing with the blood spatters and mingling around the drain and the
bottom of the tub. The blood, it was everywhere. She saw it rinsing off and
even as she watched it streaking away she could still feel it. She wondered if
a part of her would always feel it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)