Not Writing

I see people post about dealing with writer's block often. They go on about how they have no inspiration, cannot get the characters to talk to them, and how upset they are about the entire thing. I see people giving advice on how to break through the walls or encouraging them to go out and try something away from the craft for awhile in order to let their mind reset. There are many I know that believe the only reason an author doesn't write is because they are experiencing this phenomenon.

What happens when you have more story ideas than you could ever have time to write? What about when your characters are all feeling chatty, and not in the all talk at once way that causes migraines but in the helpful you pick one and they tell you their story kind of way? Why would you not be writing if you have the playlists ready to go, a complete understanding of the layout of the book, helpful cast of characters, and couldn't stop the epiphanies even if you wanted to? How about dealing with something far worse than writer's block, depression.

A large part of the PTSD I have discussed before if dealing with the irrational and sometimes seemingly trigger-free depression that flashes into my life like a freak storm, disrupts everything in its path then disappears again so I can pick up the remaining pieces. I know following the event and the lack of turn out I struggled slightly but I was feeling better yesterday, at least I thought I was. I still felt like crying from time to time and only got through it by forcing myself to do labor focused chores around the house. Today I am sick and stuck resting with little to distract me which is making the frustration stronger.

I used to hold in these feelings but when I found myself having a complete breakdown from bottling my feelings up inside I realized a few things. The first is that keeping it in was harmful to my own wellbeing. The second was that others out there are fighting with the same issues and if I let the world know what is going on it may help someone like me know it's ok to talk about it. For writers like myself who are dealing with the double edged sword of being too depressed or anxious to focus on the thing we normally use to relieve those feelings, I understand. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to cry and pull away for a bit until the feeling lessens. Don't wait for it to go away entirely. As soon as you start to feel better take that energy and write again. Or bake, or paint, or go for a run. Do something that you enjoy and makes you feel productive. It is the first step on the road back home.