Pushing Through

Today is my fifth book signing of the year. It is the first in the last few months and I was the one to arrange the first of the year but still this is the third of what I'm hoping will be close to a dozen during 2017. I should be excited. I should be feeling that combination of nerves and deep motivation to sit down and write. Last night I should have been tossing and turning with the constant questioning of whether everything I packed into the back of my car was actually everything I will need for the signing today.

I haven't even begun to pack the car. For the first time, maybe ever, I am struggling to get excited. Don't get me wrong, I love going to signings. Today's signing is even more special because it is a fundraiser for Alzheimer's. While I do not personally have any family of friends that suffer from this debilitating disease, my favorite author of all time passed away from it. Sit Terry Pratchett, we miss you.

I will be taking part in this event from one until four this afternoon and I am happy I was invited to join the wonderful group of authors that will be there. This will just be the first time I have had to attend a signing when my heart wasn't completely in it. Normally the week leading up to a signing it is all I can think about. I write every spare moment I get because going to an author event reminds why I love doing what I do. I pack at least a day in advance then check over my stuff at least a couple times to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. Other than getting a thousand words written in Fish the other night I haven't done any of the things I normally do.

It is strange how much losing a pet can feel like losing any other family member. When I lost my dad I went back to school, began traveling, even started facing some of my personal fears. I find that losing my beautiful girl Puppy recently makes me want to shake things up again and those feelings are distracting me from the normal writing process. I am hoping after I get done at the signing I will feel that familiar tingle to come home and work. If not I may need to accept that a short break could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Guess I will have to wait and see.