Emotions Reality vs Imagination

I had a topic all picked out for today involving building an audience and the importance of consistency in promoting your work but after dealing with a rather painful situation personally it got me thinking about the emotional connections we make in life. We bond with our families, our friends and of course the relationships we get involved with are a connection that can be very important for our happiness.

I am dealing with the other side of that connection right now, the loss. A bond that is very close to my heart is dissolving and that pain is currently consuming me. It make it hard to concentrate on anything from my day job to my exercise routines. I hurt constantly and the only way I can deal with it aside from curling up with ice cream and crying is to write. Of course it doesn't help that both my current works are emotional as well but at least it is something to focus on.

What about our characters though? As writers we walk a fine line between reality and the world in our imagination. We create not only the characters that make up the lives within our imagined worlds but we form a very real bond with them as well. We hear them as they talk to one another, we join them on their quests and most importantly we feel their emotions as they experience new things. We laugh at their jokes and cry along side them when things don't go their way. We understand the frustrations that they endure, sometimes our own doing. We even do our best to comfort them when they experience heartbreak.

Why is it then that we are unable to turn to this world and share our own defeats and triumphs. I feel for my characters every single day but when I am hurting, when I cry out in anguish there is nothing in that world to comfort me. It is frustrating and I believe that is the motivation of some writers to kill off characters. It is a control they do not possess in reality so they take it out on the created worlds. I wonder if it works. I could use some control therapy right about now. How does the literary world help you in times of emotional frustration?