Pushing Forward

A few days ago I posted about my personal feelings regarding a much loved and truly missed icon Sir Terry Pratchett. I shared a few quotes and talked about how they had been a part of my inspiration but there was one quote that as I have been struggling with a few stories recently became more and more important to me.

"If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story." 

Because of the extremely personal nature of Survivor and Sharing Strength I have fought with writing them for months. Both contain the same character, Jasmine, and while Survivor is exclusively her story which happens to also be my story, they explain and examine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and my experience with the diagnosis. 

It has been tragically difficult to face my own past and the path the characters all must take. I have to keep true to the incidents that led to their diagnosis of PTSD. I have wanted to give up on both stories numerous times but I feel I owe it to the characters as well as those that may read the books and be able to understand that they are truly not alone. 

I felt alone and a stranger in my own body for years and I have just recently, about five years ago in fact, begun to finally move forward and find a way to love myself again. Yes I still hear the internal voices daily that tell me I cannot do it but I know there are others that hear those voices and push on so I do the same. 

I read this quote and it struck me deeply that this is my story to tell and the characters my books chose me as their medium to tell the stories they have to share. I cannot let them down and I take comfort in seeing the motivating words of those I have looked up to my entire life. We all deal with set backs, traumas and insecurities but like Sir Terry Pratchett inspired me to push forward with my own projects I hope someday to show others that it is all worth it to hang on when things get hard. I hope my dedication and the motivation I have taken from others words will inspire those around me someday to help others keep trying as well.