Refocusing

I have been gone for quite some time and so I am feeling a little lost coming back to my blog. I have wanted so much to write inspirational pieces and start dialogues with those that read my work but as I am still unknown I have only a limited reach. I managed to get through nanowrimo which is one of my favorite things I participate in every year. I successfully completed the forty six mile honor ride bicycle tour for injured veterans. I even managed to make all of my holiday candy.

It was as I was boxing up the candy and writing out my christmas cards that I had a small realization. I go through Facebook and see all of the writers I am friends with and they are sharing all of the writing and reading they are doing each and every day. I admire them for that. They are focused and dedicated to their craft in a way I feel I have not been. I post about seeing shows, doing rides and training for obstacle courses. I am always trying something new or talking to someone I have never met. I spend a lot of time on my hobbies and exploring new ones. I put priority on updating my house as well as completing random projects. And of course lets not forget that I spend a large amount of time dealing cards at two different casinos.

It is exhausting and makes me feel as though I am not cut out for the craft I love so much. I refuse to give up my training because being in shape and doing the courses is an accomplishment I hold dear to my heart. I need to jobs to pay bills and get ahead a little so quitting isn't an option at this point. I love my hobbies because they give me writing material but I have made the decision to limit the time spent on them so that I can push forward with my writing more. I am looking at conferences and conventions, more live events and any networking opportunities that may arise. I would love input from anyone that has attended such events as to what I should expect and the best approach I can use.

This picture is from a few years ago before I started working out. I was unhealthy and relatively unhappy. As scary as it is to look at for me I have to acknowledge that I am the one on the left. I hid away from the world as often as possible. I ate to kill my feelings and it took several hospital visits to make me realize the severity of what I was doing to myself. That picture was taken in Australia during a volunteer trip and a life changing event for me.

It was the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone in years and when I began to lose the weight and gain a little confidence is when I went back to writing. I had shelved a project for almost a decade convinced it wasn't good enough. It has now been published and was released earlier this year. It gave me an additional boost to keep going.

I train to stay in shape and maintain the confidence it brings me every time I cross a finish line. I write because it fills my heart. My goal is to be able to make it down to one dealing job and focus more time and energy into my writing so I can ear my additional income that way. It isn't about the money it is about fulfilling my passion but I need to pay bills of course haha.

I ask any of my friends that may read this to continue to share my work as well as my blog and start conversations that I may learn from and be able to grow as a writer. I want to create the works that you can't wait to read and I can only get better so please help me to learn. Thank you.