Breathe Excerpt

Breathe. Kelsey closed her eyes and let the hot water drizzle over her. The shower heating up she felt the steam engulf her and transport her to an isolated world. Even as her skin began to redden from the heat she blindly reached for the nozzle to turn the temperature up. It didn’t matter how high it was, she couldn’t feel it anyway. She was in shock. It had been an incomprehensible day and as the steam built up past her numb wet body billowing over the top of the shower doors, she inhaled deeply and reminded herself again; breathe.

            The tiny bathroom filled with thick moist clouds causing the glaring fluorescent to fade to an uneven haze. Kelsey leaned back allowing the scalding water to wash across her face, stinging her eyes, but still she felt nothing. Behind her unopened eyelids she began to see. The faces floated up coming into focus, staring at her. Faces she knew. Faces she would never forget. The fear, pain and disbelief mirrored there contorted them into horribly disfigured creatures watching her. Her eyes shot open and looked forward at the shiny tiled of the wall in front of her. She looked at it, through it, unseeing. The wall wasn’t there, all she could see were the faces.

            Her hands shaking she clutched the washcloth and scrubbed at her raw, pink skin. Rivers of soapy bubbles coursed their way down, tracing the curves and contours of her body mixing with the blood spatters and mingling around the drain and the bottom of the tub. The blood, it was everywhere. She saw it rinsing off and even as she watched it streaking away she could still feel it. She wondered if a part of her would always feel it.

Balancing Act

It is incredible the amount of things that we take on every day. Families and friends, work and bills, even trying to just keep up on chores and errands. Life has a funny way of weighing us down from itself.


I look at some of the writers I know and many of them write full time or have one part time job in order to help make ends meet until they finally get their breakthrough piece written. I write while also holding down two other jobs and also workout in an effort to train for physical challenges like obstacle courses and triathlons.


I have often wondered if I even have a chance of being successful as an author if I can manage to split my focus so much. Am I dedicated enough to my art in order to get my name out there and create a reader base that can one day create the ability to do this full time? Do I fit the bill of what people consider a writer to be?


For me I think it is possible to be successful without being chained to a keyboard all the time. I am not the biggest reader in the world though I do enjoy reading. I am actively involved with people and activities and love to perform making me an extreme extrovert which I have found to be uncommon for writers.


I am constantly trying new adventures but it is from these new times that I find my inspiration. My entire life I have read about people going places and trying things and it has inspired me to do the same. I am hoping that one day people will read my work and feel moved. That they will want to try something new, go somewhere different and meet someone that they never before would have considered joining in conversation.


Life isn't just about balancing what we have to do with what we want to do but can also be about balancing who we are and who we want to be. Reaching for the sky while making sure we keep aware of what is happening around us. I love who I am and it took me a long time to be able to say that and I hope that one day I write something that can make others reflect and see themselves in the same light.

Those lost

Tonight I wanted to take a quiet moment in reflection of those that have touched my heart and live on there though no longer on this earth. It is important to me that from time to time I simply look back at pictures, cards and mementos of my past and think about those that have affected my life.


I have always had a strong connection to animals and as many of my readers know I am even working on a charity book called Rescue Me - Animal Anthology. It is a collection of stories and poems about saving animals and being saved by them. Just two days ago I interviewed the foster / forever mom of a sweet senior boxer with cancer that didn't have much more then an expected month left.


Her love for Roxy the boxer was intense and could be felt instantly even over the phone. You could hear the pain in her voice as she told me about the life Roxy had experienced before being dumped in a shelter and how she had been doted on since being rescued replacing the pain with compassion. I typed up her story right after I got off the phone and had planned to send it off for approval today. I was even planning to go and maybe meet Roxy tomorrow and take a few pictures of her for the book.


I was, however, cut off from my plans when I saw the heartbreaking news announced on Facebook today that her time came up sooner than expected and she has now passed away. Her cancer was completely preventable but by the time she was rescued it was too late. It immediately brought forth the memory of a tiny feral kitten I attempted to save just a few years ago. He had been discarded by his mother and we brought him inside sure he would never make it through the night.


When I woke up I checked in on him and he actually opened his eyes and looked up at me. I named him Miracle just for surviving that long. I called in sick that day to stay home with him. I lay in bed with his tiny body lying against the skin on my chest. He could feel my heart beat and for a brief time he even purred for me.


I dipped my finger in milk and would put a drop in front of his itty bitty mouth. He managed to get a drop or two down but mostly he just slept. Around mid afternoon I got up and made a quick lunch before coming back to put him on my chest again. I stroked his little head and told him I was so happy to have found him. Again he purred for a moment but then he laid his head to the side and stopped purring. He went to sleep and quietly left this world behind. I felt him take his last breath and kissed the top of his head.


With tears in my eyes I took him out to a beautiful spot near Red Rock Canyon and buried him where the sunset can be seen in all its wonderful color scheme. I still feel the tears when I remember him and they are made fresh again when I see the stories of others experiencing losses of friends both two and four legged of their own.


I know that the animals watch over us the same way that loved people from our past do and in keeping with tonight's theme of lost loved one I want to make a small thank you to my father that has been watching over e my entire life and for the last 6 years from heaven. I feel his presence daily and I know that Miracle and Roxy and my beloved other pets and those of all the animal lovers I know are keeping a protective eye on those of us still here until One day we can meet again.

Something different

I wanted to take a moment to introduce my readers to a new concept I will be delving into very soon. I will be creating my first series and it will be eight books focusing on the seven deadly sins. The first book is the one that I am going to focus on today and do so by introducing the main character, Persiphone Syntle.


She lives during the time of the Salem witch trials and while she married the love of her life and gave birth to seven beautiful children, all of them were girls. Large families were common but boys were much more desirable in order to help a family survive and provide. Her husband John in killed in a tragic accident leaving her alone with her daughters and she must struggle to find a way to care for them all.


Her brother is a bachelor and moves in to care for and assist his family. She is also offered a chance to work for one of the most powerful man in the city but he almost immediately begins flirting with her and though she tries to ignore or politely reject his advances he is extremely persistent. She must choose between helping her family survive or being true to herself.


He ultimately takes the choice away from her though he gets caught. He immediately blames her and accuses her of being a witch. He claims she seduced him and orders her to stand trial on accusation of witchcraft. What will Persiphone do? How will she prove her innocence? Join her as she fights for her life and the freedom of her beloved daughters.

First signing

Last Friday afternoon I hosted my first book signing. It was wonderful to learn so much and have family and friends there to join me for such an awesome occasion. I have definitely learned that the time and day of the week are so important to the success of an event. I held my signing at an adorable bakery I love and the location was beautiful though it did not have a lot of foot traffic.


I had a sign made but to be displayed at the bakery but I never confirmed the location it would be placed. I now need to make sure that any advertisement is as visible as possible. I also had a notice in the local newspaper but I was unaware that it would only be listed in the online edition.


Finally I listed my event on facebook but because I was only able to reach a few people there was nowhere near the turn out we had hoped for. I am thinking that one of the largest things I need to focus on is this last item. I need to find ways beyond facebook to reach potential readers.


I am working on finding additional locations to hold events including both dance studios to keep with the theme of the book but also book stores and coffee shops. Once I have booked more locations I will make sure that the days are better for getting guests in and make sure that any print materials are displayed more prominently.


I am also working on word of mouth and asking anyone I know that reads my books to leave a review and recommend it to anyone they know that may enjoy reading something different. I will continue this learning experience and apply all new ideas and developments to future books as well.

Outside the comfort zone

I have been writing drama and realistic fiction for most of my life. I am very comfortable with these genres and figured that I would always write in these areas. However not only are these not popular and currently sellable genres but I also have been thinking about writing abilities recently and it is widely understood that in order to grow you must push the envelope.


Being a woman with no children it is odd that I would choose to attempt to write a children's book. But I did, in fact I am finishing an entire series that not only is created for the children I don't have but it is also bringing honor and recognition to the single fathers in the world that step up for their children. People think that I should promote women and I take nothing away from mothers but I have tremendous respect for fathers as well and they are far less recognized.


I am also working to create an adult series involving witchcraft. I have never used an paranormal or supernatural elements in my writing so this will definitely be a leap for me. In an attempt to get started in that project I am doing my best to create a short story for an anthology in the theme of horror. I hope that the end result is an terrifying to the readers as the idea of the project is to me.


 I am thrilled to be testing my limits and hope that my readers will be honest and give me true feedback so that I can continue to grow as an author and a person.

Time to think

I have heard many times that when you are struggling and feeling unmotivated the best thing to do is simply step away from your project. It feels so counter productive to do that however and it is something that even now in my thirties I am still learning how to do. As far back as I can remember I have had the habit of becoming obsessed with ideas and when I couldn't get past a sticking point I would dwell on it.


I would think about my issue day and night. it would distract me from my work and invade my dreams. I would feel overwhelmed. Being someone that has an extremely addictive personality it would be something I couldn't control and it would drive me crazy. I had to put my last book on the shelf for either years in order to get the characters to decide to talk to me again.


I have noticed that when I go to work now I can relax my mind and there are days I will have ideas that I can develop or I will figure out how to get past a problem area. I even had an epiphany during a cab ride to work one day when my car broke down.


The biggest example I have had was during the drive home from a camping trip to the Grand Canyon recently. I had thought that perhaps I would be struck by the enormity and beauty of the park, and I was. I expected to enjoy the feeling of being in nature, and I did. Yet neither of these things brought forth inspiration for any of my current projects nor gave any ideas for new stories.


It was instead during the drive home for several hours that I was able to let my mind wander. I was able to come up with the entire outline of book one for an upcoming series. Once I got in touch with the main character it was like I couldn't make her stop talking. I could picture her. I found out her name and she told me everything but the dialogue.


I am now pushing myself to get through my current editing fixes and first draft of Sharing Strength just so I can get to her story because I am so excited to write it. Even more because it is a leap for me to write that particular genre I cannot wait to see what my readers think.