Earlier today I had a conversation about passion. There are several ways to describe passion from the drive we have in our careers to the dedication we put forth in hobbies or sports but the most important one to me is the passion we share in relationships. The romance, the intensity, the complete chemistry we experience with another person that can drive us wild.
You feel it in the electricity of the first touch. That moment when your heart skips a beat. You notice the way your body reacts to the heat of the other person's body when you are close. There is nothing quite like the way your breath is taken away when you kiss. I think about the old song Its In His Kiss and think they were completely right. The way a person kisses you can tell you everything.
Of course you can go further and talk about making love or the intimacy of waking up in the arms of the person you adore but it is the first moments that have always spoken the loudest for me. Passion is not only something I enjoy in my life, relationship and other aspects as well, but it is truly something I crave. I love the feeling of being so alive and in the moment with my significant other. Some however do not experience that.
Some people are involved with others that are not expressive, emotional or passionate. If they are also like that then it is a match made in heaven but if one person craves the intimacy the other is incapable of giving then what? There are several options of course. They could break up, talk it out and try to work on the situation or simply settle with neither being completely fulfilled but trying to look on the bright side.
For writers there is yet another option. I have seen countless shirts and posters proclaiming to be nice to the writer or they will kill you off in a novel. Yet I wonder if we actually insert things we need and desire in our own lives that we do not receive. If you are stuck in a passionless relationship do you then create the heat and chemistry in your characters? Do you live vicariously through your made up world to fill your own voids? Or is the chemistry better written by people that experience it for themselves in their daily lives?
I work hard to keep the fire of a relationship alive both in my own life as well as on the pages of my writing. Sometimes, in both, I fall short but I am curious if other writers create more from desire or reflection.