I then went into tree days of double shifts causing me to not be able to write at all. In fact I struggled just to sleep and make it through day after day. I did my best to be entertaining at work keeping the guests playing the blackjack and poker games I was dealing. I feel I was able to do well securing compliments from several of the customers.
My bosses and friends were all happy I made it through but at the same time they were concerned about me and my lack of sleep. I was also worried. I have worked doubles in the past but I have put pressure on myself to work as many shifts as possible while also crossing the finish line on both my nano project as well as my additional book I was requested to draft.
As I tried to sleep in this morning and then fought a migraine all day I could think of nothing else other than I needed to be writing. This got me thinking about pressure and how much we do to ourselves. It is a great thing to be ambitious. We always want to push ourselves to be the best version possible. What isn't fair though is when we set unrealistic expectations. Even worse is when we start to see our worth in relation to those expectations.
If I say that the only way this month has been a success and therefore I am a success is to complete all of my working shifts, charity bike ride, fulfill thanksgiving traditions and write both drafts for my books then I am putting myself in a nearly impossible situation. We push ourselves so hard and so far that some times we get stretched beyond our limits.
It is important that we have a support system in place to see us through the difficult times as well as celebrate the accomplishments regardless of size. Setting priorities is also something we must make time for. For me I have to concentrate on work before writings as it is the obligation that supplies the financial support for me to pursue my passion of writing. My health is another consideration I have to put at the top of the list.
I have struggled for years to make sure I don't fall victim to these issues. I have extreme expectations of myself and I currently remain undeterred in my goals but I am working hard to also keep my focus on my priorities and understand that it is ok to fall short on my writing if need be. I am reaching out for the support not only of my friends and family but also the writing community for support as well as understanding that we are all a part of this incredible world that we build and share. I am here for you and am grateful for everything we have done together.